I just spent the last two hours (as well as some time earlier today) ACTUALLY doing homework, for the most part.
With my twitter tab open.
But still.
Hopefully I'll make a dent in the miserable excuse for my grades.
If anyone wants to help me memorize all the kings of England, let me know. I just need someone to quiz me.
... Is it sad that I still don't fully understand grammar? (insert hashtag here)
Went from 17 to 20 ish hours this week at work, my check next weekend is gonna be boss, except for that I have to give it all to my dear parents. BUT hopefully I'll be done, and then I'll get to keep my money again.
Woop. Here's to grocery shopping.
My birthday is in 17 days. At which point I'll be 18. At which point I'm moving out. At which point I'll be free.
But as it's been said, "With great freedom comes great responsibility."... I may have paraphrased, but who cares. Anyway, I'm totally okay with facing those responsibilities, I know it's gonna be hard, but I've been waiting for this my whole life practically, and I'm not just going to back down.
I-N-D-E-P-E-D-E-N-T, do you know what that means?
Every muscle in my body is sore today, due to some kick-a work outs I did yesterday for no reason. I WILL get back in shape, cause I seriously miss my abs.
I have an annoying cold, I burned my tongue yesterday on hot chocolate, and I miss him in waves of stabbing heartache, but those are the only bad things, unless you count my grades.
World War I was dumb, as was America's reason for finally entering it, but whatevs. Government craves violence, I suppose.
I love the internet. If the internet could be my boyfriend, it would be.
This image makes me so happy. I just giggle looking at it.
Earth is so pretty. Thanks Jesus, for making the planet beautiful.
I can't wait for spring and summer, to go on hikes, and picnics, and adventures, and sleep outside.
This year. Is gonna be incredible. Already has been.
I'm trying so, so hard not to feel like I'm worthless, like I'm nothing special. But it's been really hard lately, you know? I just remember all of those beautiful, wonderful things he said about me, and then he just.. up and left, more or less. It's like he took everything we felt, all those amazing moments we shared, and erased them. *poof* Gone. But then, I know he's enough like me that it doesn't seem possible. I have to hope that it's just that he is simply better at masking the ache. But then, I look at his life right now, and everything is going so well for him, he seems so happy. And it's his life without me in it. I can't help but think that it's better that way, for him. After all, I did wish for his happiness, didn't I?
I don't want you to think that I only thought I was someone of value because of him. I have always had a sense of self-confidence. The fact is, after someone has told you that you mean more to them than anything in the universe, that you're their best friend who they feel completely at home with, and that they love you, you kind of believe them. Then, when they leave, you question all of those good things, any good thing anyone has ever said to you, whether you want to or not. It just happens that way.
I still wait up at night, hoping he'll call.
I check his various social networking sites daily, hoping he'll show some sign of weakness.
I still cry a little to myself when I'm alone, wishing he'd miss me too.
Like I said before, missing him hits me in waves, and I just got hit by a tsunami.
So, sorry for that.
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