Have you ever wondered about how people remember you?
Like, you see a person, and you associate them with a certain emotion, or memory, or sound, or something..
Have you ever sat and wondered what that thing you might be associated with is?
Wondered whether, regardless of what you've done, if someone regards you in a poor manner.
Or whether, because you look like their dead mother, someone can't stand to be around you.
Or if the reason someone seems to hate you, is because of something they heard about you so long ago.
Or even what it is that people like about you.
What people think when they hear your name.
It's not so much that I care.. I just would like to know what kind of effect I have on the people around me.
Do people think I'm stuck up?... Probably.. But I just seem that way because I'm terribly shy, and I hate confrontation
Do people think I'm annoying? .. Most likely.. But I just want people to know I'm there..
Do guys talk about me to other people like they talk to me about other girls?.. It's plausible.. because I used to be like the other girls.
Do girls rave about how ''cute'' I am, the same way they do to my face, when they're with their friends?
What do the boys I have a history with think of me? That I'm crazy? Emotional? Too complex? Easy? A pushover?
I wonder what memories people have of me, and how they perceive them.
I wonder who thinks I'm a ''bad'' person because I don't follow every rule.
What do my customers remember about me?
I wonder what personality bracket teachers put me in.
What does my mom think when I don't know how to talk to her..
What do my brother's think of my example?
They're some good questions.. Am I right?
Some I'm not quite sure I want to know the answer to.
But in the words of the beautiful Adele:
God only knows why it's taken so long for me to let my doubts go.
Asking questions doesn't get you anywhere.
I dont know what they think...but I'll always love you dear. come what may :)
ReplyDeletedear cambria lauren,
ReplyDeletehere's what i think of you. when i hear your name the color yellow comes to mind cause to me you equal sunshine. i remember all the fun we've had no matter how long we've known each other or how many stupid fights we've been in. i remember how happy i was to be your friend again. i laugh a little bit inside because you always make me laugh. i think of all the people who've done you wrong and wonder what their problem is. i think of what an amazing person you'll marry, or else i'll have to get very angry and hurt someone.
i think you're strong and beautiful. i think you're brave and someone i want to be more like.
and after that like 1/2 sec. i say "Yeah what about her?"