Gave you everything I had, everything and no less

Phew... I don't know where to start
Firstly, my brother got married yesterday. And I'm not even going to go in to how weird/awkward that is for me to think about.
Secondly, I hate wedding receptions, with a fiery passion comparable to that of Hell, and I need to thank my best friends, Kate and Emily, for enduring the endless torment with me. I'm super grateful that I have friends like them to keep me sane... to an extent :)
Thirdly, sex is gross.
.....
I'm hopeless.
I get knocked down, just when I think I'm doing so well.. By my mother.
Because she doesn't pay enough attention to me to even understand what makes me happy.
All she sees are letter grades, completed chore charts, and church attendance records
She insists that I play the "game". Regardless of how many times that I tell her that I. Can't. Do it.
It's not important to me. Happiness is important to me. Making memories is important to me.
Not working the system. Not fitting the mold. And not doing things just to impress people.
So what if I'm making my life harder for my self. I'm totally at peace with that fact.
I'm not into drugs. I've never had sex. And I love God.
But all she sees are letter grades, completed chore charts, and church attendance records.
She doesn't know what makes me laugh, or makes me cry, or even why I hate boys. She didn't know about my first kiss until almost two years later, and still not even the whole story.
I can't tell her about the boys I like, or the people I hang out with.
She hates approximately 75% of my friends.
I'm not allowed to be myself, because she's afraid of it.
I get lectured on a daily basis because I'm not the person she wants me to be.
The most she knows about me is what she found out by reading my journal. Which she stole out of my back pack. And then lied to me about it.
She's a great example isn't she?
She wants me to be happy...
But if she really did,, wouldn't she try to understand me a little better.
What makes one person happy, can not make everyone else happy.

I'm sorry mother, but regardless of what you say, you won't change me.
Ever.