I really dont know how to say what I'm wanting so desperately to say.. I'm all a jumble inside.. Some bloggers write about all the lovely, beautiful, wonderful things in their lives.. And if anything isn't that way, well I'll never know because they dont ever write about it.
I guess I'm here to tell you that my life isn't always lovely. Or wonderful. Or great. In fact, most of the time it isn't.
And a lot of that "most of the time", its actually my fault.
(You're probably just waiting for me to get to the point....)
I'm not perfect. I don't Pretend to be. I make decisions that I shouldn't. I lose myself in the moment too often. I do things that I promised myself, and all my friends that I wouldn't. I go against my better judgment more than any sane person should. I don't regret things that I should.
I shouldn't have let him in my car tonight. I shouldn't have disobeyed my parents. I shouldn't have let him use me. Again. I could have just gone home and avoided this disgusted feeling towards myself. I could have gone to chandlers houses. I should have gone.
Woulda. Coulda. Shoulda.
But I didn't. I made all the wrong choices.
And now my heart is paying the price.
So to all you lovely people with lovely lives.
You're either keeping half of your lives a secret,
Or you are luckier people than you can imagine
No sweetheart! Life is hard. It will all look up someday. Sometimes it is just hard to write slash talk about. But I feel better when i do! And I'm sure you do too. I know you already know this but sometimes reassurance is good. I'm not saying this cause I don't think youu know. I'm saying this cause i know you know. I think it is good for you to write about the hard times cause everyone has different hard times. I think it helps not only you, but other people as well to realize that. Write what you want cause it is your blog! I love you and love to read your posts!
ReplyDeleteThank you Madi :)
ReplyDeleteyou always know exactly what to say!
It's wonderful!