Lay your weary head to rest, don't you cry no more.

Today, has been one of the hardest days that I've had to live through.

Ever.

I don't think I've ever felt so alone in my entire life.. and I've definitely never cried during class.

I've found myself thinking over and over again about whether or not this is how it will be forever.. and whether or not I can cope.

No, I wasn't in love with him. 

No, I didn't want to marry him.

Yes, he did break my heart.

Yes, I did want him in my life forever.

If it ends up that I can't have him back, I suppose I'll have to  just cope with it..

How, exactly? I have no freaking idea.

The wheel weaves as the wheel wills, I guess.

The pattern weaves us all.

(yes I just made that reference)

All I know right now is that my best friend is gone. And dealing with that is harder than I could have ever imagined.

I just hope he's doing okay.. I want him to be happy.. even if it means without me. 

For now, I'll just put on a brave face and pretend to be strong,, It's all I can do.