there's things that just happen.

i hate to admit that i need affection.

i regret to say that i'm not as independent as i'd like to be.

i'm proud that i can take care of myself,

but i honestly need someone to hold my hand and say, "don't worry, i've got this one."

i lived for a long time without that brand of support, and i'm not sure who's to blame for that.

it could be me, or my parents, or me. 

probably me.

the truth is, i thought that because i hadn't felt love for so long, that i didn't have to feel it.

i don't know. some people just aren't made to live that way.

though i really wish i were one of those blessed few, 

i love the feeling of someone's hand in mine.

i love knowing that someone feels those kinds of feelings. 

about me.

i wouldn't go so far as to say i'm desperate for affection.

but feeling someone care about me like that..

it's beautiful.

i guess that's why i deal with so much bullshit from people that i care about.

i sacrifice myself to those moments, just to snatch a few of the good ones.

so i just need to thank those of you who've never dealt out shit for me to deal with.

and i am so deeply sorry for any i've given you.

i just get really lost sometimes. 

my friends mean everything to me.

you've all been there when the people i needed weren't, and i owe you so much for that.