wasted potential; whacked out priorities

so this is how it feels.

to be on the other end of an ending.

this time, my heart wasn't broken.

and yet, i still feel so much pain.

i wish i could go back to him.

but neither of us are ready for that.

he loves me. i can feel it.

but  i need to love myself before that's alright.

everything is so unstable, 

teetering on the thin line between happiness and despair.

he needs to not need me so much.

and i need to need him more.

i believe everything could be beautiful for us.

i find myself wanting him to be everything for me.

i have so much life left to live,

so much of myself left to discover.

i don't have room for love right now.

the catch: i feel broken without him.

it's as though he belongs at my side.

i didn't want to hurt him. 

i never meant to make things worse.

"darling, you can be happy. you don't need me, you don't need them.

you only need you. 

don't let them tell you you're not enough.

make a life for yourself. 

do things you've always wanted to do.

let nothing hold you back.

i'll always love you. at least a little bit."